Where is he taking you exactly?How would you describe a woman that would get into a car with a man that she doesn't know? My caribbean grandmother would call such a woman a "damn foolish good-for-nuthin gal." Thank God for Jesus and grace, so I'll just call her unwise.
Remember when our parents drilled into our heads, “don’t get into cars with strangers.” Somehow we’ve forgotten the wisdom of that lesson. Just because we’re adults we think it’s socially okay to get into the car with a virtual stranger on a date. In fact, when a guy asks out a woman, he usually offers her fun, a good time without any stated final destination. Fun can be dinner and dancing, a movie or a play, but to what end, and to what destination?
A wise sister knows the man that she’s getting a car ride from. She has done her homework, observed his relationship with God and knows how he treats other people, especially women. Sister’s are too often swayed by the promise of marriage by single brothers in the church who sit in the front row on Sunday morning, only to want to drive them to a motel afterwards. What would happen if sisters in the church found out if the man was actually marriage material before going out? What would happen if a woman knew the destination of the relationship, before the first date?
The shameful truth is that a man should share his vision for the relationship at the very beginning of the dating process. Sadly, many of us don't. Since many of us come up short in this area, it's important to protect your heart against disappointment by asking upfront, "Where are we going with this? Are you looking for a wife?” I know it’s a bold move, but it will save you a lot of time and heartache my “sistah.”
The kind of brother that you really want to be married to will tell you that he’s looking for a wife. The players will treat you like your overreacting, or dangle the bait with this classic line, “Well, I’m looking to get married someday.” By the way, that line kept a sister I dated in check for years.
Now I know some women are reading this saying “What he’s saying is crazy!” After all you don’t want to run him away. But if you have the courage to believe that God wants you to have a husband who is into you and no one else, loves you unconditionally, and supports every dream you have, you won’t get inside a stranger’s car (if he has a car) for dinner dates, movie dates, and family visits. You won’t allow yourself to meander through the relationship without a clear vision of his intentions.
If you have found yourself in his car, wondering; hey, where are you taking me, what are your plans for this relationship? Don’t be afraid to assert yourself and get him to “make it plain” for you. If you don’t, you may think he's driving you towards marriage, only to find he has intentions to stop-off at a motel. Avoid all of this, trust the Holy Ghost to guide you, and simply ask they guy you’re dating, “Where are you taking me?”
2 comments:
It seems you believe all single females are just totally desperate to get married and options are very limited. If you belive men are the problem, why are you not targeting the men with your articles?
Thanks for your post. When reading your post I got the sense that you have dated enough to know the kind of men that I referenced in the story. If know those brothers like I think you do, you know those guys don't listen. Those men are mainly interested in getting some tail. It's that drive in my belief that blinds them to the concerns and feelings of others. Thats where this story comes in. It speaks to the concerns of women, and how the blind drive by men to "score chicks" affects the ladies they date. By getting them to consider the women they date, as a person with feelings, and fears, my desire is that they will be confronted with the carnal affects of their behavior. That is my prayer. What the women get is clear, a brother in Christ that cares enough to share the truth about men in a shockingly honest way. After all I may not know women, but men I know. -James
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