Am I Christian 1st, then Black 2nd?

Apparently I'm late to the game, but I just read that 70% of black women are single! WTH!??
I pray that our sisters get the memo, that we are Christians first, then we are black.
We often tell ourselves and others that God is the center of our lives. Yet we often times surround ourselves with people that don't honor God or His Word. I'm sure it's mostly because they are family or we find a sense of comfort knowing they share in the black experience. We should be ashamed of ourselves. God never told us to forsake his principles for the sake of our culture or ethnicity.

As a black man, I understand the solidarity we share as a community. We have depended on one another over the years for support, understanding, culture, and self-identity. We've found acceptance in our community when we were shunned elsewhere. Don't get it twisted. I love being black. I love my black people, but I don't identify with being black as my primary "click" or group of affiliation. See, I'm with Jesus first. You know why? Because support, understanding, culture, and self identity are NOT spiritual. They won't last forever. For example, I feel differently now about my self-identity then I did a month ago. The truth is only the things we do for God are permanent.

"Choosing a husband is the kind of decision that should be made based on secure principles that do not change."


I can hear someone saying, "Being black is not going to change the way society sees me. I didn't choose to be born black." This is true. Being black may be permanent in this earthly life, but it IS NOT spiritual. Here is what I'm saying. Knowing men like I do, you should be open to marry a Godly man regardless of his race. If I were a woman, I would be available to ALL single Christian men. Yes white single Christian men too. Now that IS spiritual. With that, you have effectively made God and His word your priority and NOT ascribing to some sense of racial loyalty. Having a Christ led family should be paramount to us. Choose the Christ in a man as a spiritual principle for Godly living. We overcome by the blood of the lamb, not by the blood in our veins, nor the blood of our forefathers.

James is the host of FindingMorris.com an Online Singles Ministry Radio program available 24/7

Are you truly single?

All the Single Ladies (Reposted from Nikki's Blog) "All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!" Don’t front. You ain’t so saved that you haven’t heard that Beyonce song. My goodness, is it me or is it everywhere? Man, I even thought I heard it in a ‘Feed the Hungry’ commercial, LOL. And don’t play, some of you started dancing the moment you saw the lyrics (smile). It’s all good though. All the praise dancers holla at your girl for lessons in the foyer after church, LOL. Y'all ain't ready! Okay, jokes aside, today I wanted to pose a question to all my single folk. And don’t start fidgeting with your pencil either. This is a simple one (smile). Here it is: Are you truly single? I ask this question because in my observations, it almost seems as if some are so afraid of being alone that they would rather settle for a bastardized version of love than wait on God. It’s crazy. I’ve never in all my life encountered so many who are single with conditions. And you know what’s even crazier? Most don’t even know their not single. Check it out: "Anytime you keep someone on reserve as your unspoken plan B, you’re not single. Anytime you waste time with someone you know in your heart is not God’s best for your life, you’re not single." Anytime you continue to lay hands on yourself, thereby cheating on your future spouse, guess what? You’re not single. Real talk, if God can’t trust you with your own hand, how can He trust you in a marriage? Hello somebody! And I know it may seem coarse, but I need you to get this. God needs you to get this. It’s time out for the “all by myself” blues. It’s time out for acting as if love doesn’t love you. What benefit can be gathered from lamenting over yesterday? And understand, I’m not trying to be dismissive. Hurt is real. And we’ve ALL experienced it. Yet at the end of the day you have to make up in your mind that you’ve simply had enough. You have to make a decision to do things differently. Today I want to challenge you to let last year be the last year. The last year for fruitless relationships. The last year for unresolved heart hurt. The last year for it all. And don’t get it twisted, in speaking to you I speak to me too. See, the reality of my life is that I too needed to get some things in order. And I know I speak of marriage a lot but I make no apologies. I understand my call. And because I understand it, I have no problem allowing God to use me as an example. Why? Simple. For great is my reward. Yours too! Know that for every hurt, every tear, and every heartache, your joy will be greater. Yeah, this is the season of great manifestations. And God has a love for you that is so beautiful, so joyous, and so pure, it’s just plain old ridiculous (smile). In fact, don’t be surprised if you find you have to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. Hmmm, play your cards right and you may find yourself pinching your spouse to show them that their not dreaming, lol. And all of the church said, "Ahhhmennnnnnnnnnn! To you on the other side of this screen, know that I love you with the love of Christ. I really do. I love you so much that I’m willing to tell you what is right and risk you being mad at me. See real love would rather see you uncomfortable in truth than complacent in a lie. And I speak these things because I want to see you blessed. In all areas. But here’s the thing: If you don’t get yours in this season, don’t blame God. No homey, this year it’s on you. The question is what will you do with it? Selah. So be encouraged. You’re going to make it. Your time of singleness is drawing to a close. Let us continue to allow God to form us that all will be in order when He comes. Love you still, Nikki Washington, CEO www.glowmagazineonline.com Subscribe to the FM newsletter and get more great Christian stories like this

FM35-3rd Annual Valentines Day Show

We have the answers to the questions that single women asked our panel of Christian single brothers. Listen now...

FM35-3rd_Annual_Valentines_Day_(29:00)
• Will you still marry me if we have premarital sex?
• With all the beautiful saved women around, why are you still single?
• Why do men look at other women when we are together?
• Why do men hide their true feelings from women?

Contact us if you have any questions, topics, comments for the show call us anonymously or put “your stuff on blast” at (404)567-5752

Finding Morris is brought to you by the FM faithful, listeners like you. If Finding Morris has been a blessing to you, consider donating to support the program and blog as we serve you. Click on the Donate button on the upper right hand side on the main page. Sow your support into good ground, FindingMorris.com

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5 Things Christian Women Should Look for in a Mate

5 Things Christian Women Should Look for in a Mate
(Reposted from Kim Brook's Blog)

Ladies, you may have had conversations with your girlfriends about what you're looking for in a mate. Well allow me to share a list of 5 things a Christian woman should consider looking for in a future spouse. Looks aren't everything (but it definitely helps! Lemme stop...) BTW – I'm not insinuating a woman go chasing after a man, this list is just a guide that describes certain character traits within a man that a woman of God should look for:

1. He may be fine, but make sure that man is saved!

Single Christian women should make sure that their future spouse is Christian as well because God admonishes believers to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers according to II Corinthians 6:14. You want to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same value system and beliefs as you do. In doing so, you create harmony in the relationship, and operate in God's perfect will for your life. Also, according to Amos 3:3, it is better for two people who are in agreement to walk together.

2. He may be saved, but make sure that man is for real!

Nowadays, it is not enough to make sure someone confesses Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior according to Romans 10:8-10. You want to also make sure his lifestyle lines up with his faith confession, and that He fears God by not desiring to break God's heart -which happens when we disobey His Word and His will. Also, how can a man love you like Christ loves the church if he doesn't know how to truly love God? Make sure that he is not only saved but that his mind has been renewed and changed by the Word of God (Romans 12:2). A man who fears God, or reverences and respects God so much that he has surrendered his own will to God's will, proves that he sincerely loves the Lord, and love must be vertical first, before it can ever be horizontal.

3. Make sure he has a vision, and knows his purpose.

The Word of God in Habakuk 2:2 commands us to write the vision and make
it plain. You want a future mate who has a vision and knows his purpose in life. Men are called to be leaders in the home, and a man who doesn't know his purpose will be leading his future intended down a path that leads to no where. When a man and a woman both know their purpose they can better envision a future together and can see how they fit into one another's lives.


4. Make sure he loves people and wins souls.

Unfortunately, there are some who call themselves Christians yet do not love people. Make sure your future spouse is not one of these persons. God's second commandment to Christians is to love their neighbors as themselves, and the best way to show that love is to tell someone else about Jesus Christ. The same way that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son is the same way, ladies, you should want to make sure your future spouse loves people so much that he willingly shares his testimony and witnesses to someone else. The Word of God, in Psalm 107:2 says, Let the redeemed of the Lord, say so, so your future mate should not be ashamed to tell it!


5. Makes sure that pleasing God is his #1 priority.

God is pleased when we, His children, obey His Word (John 14:15). For example, He is pleased when we honor our parents (Eph. 6:1), when we tithe to our local church (Mal. 3:10, Heb. 2:4), when we love one another (1 John 4:7), and when we esteem others higher than ourselves (Phil. 2:3). So it is important now, ladies, to make sure that your future spouse makes pleasing God his #1 priority, because in doing so it shows that he has the potential to love you the same way that Christ loved the church.

*Please note: Out of the 5 things listed, woman of God, it is important that you, also, possess the 5 characteristics included on this list. That way you both can be an extreme blessing to one another in your relationship.

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Licensed minister and speaker, Kim Brooks, is the author of “He's Saved...But is He For Real?” which is the sequel to Black Expressions Bestseller, “He's Fine...But is He Saved?” and non-fiction mini-book, “The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints.” Kim publishes a monthly E-newsletter for singles entitled, “The Single Heart.” Check out free excerpts, or sign up for a free subscription to her
E-newsletter on www.Kimontheweb.com
Her books are available in bookstores nationwide