Walk into your husband's pathIt’s interesting to me how some unmarried Christians seem to be committed to secular dating. You know what I’m talking about. Boy meets a nice girl, girl falls in love with boy, they become boyfriend and girlfriend until three years later boy confesses he’s not ready for marriage, girl sticks in there until boy becomes a man and marries her. It’s a dreadful cycle that hurts so many people in the process. As Christians, Jesus has called us to be in the world, but not of it. So why do we think it’s okay to date the way the world does and expect to achieve superior results?
My husband posted an question on facebook some weeks ago asking unmarried women if they would continue to date a man who was honest enough to share that he wasn’t interested in marriage? You should’ve seen the heated responses on both sides of the fence. Some said it would be foolish for a woman ready for marriage to date a man who wasn’t. Others complained that writing a man off because he’s not ready is premature. After all, he might be in transition, has been hurt in a previous relationship or could be ready after he’s reached his goals. We all have known success stories where a woman travailed to become the last woman standing. She may have been in her 20’s when the relationship began and is now in her 30’s. She had vision for what he would eventually become and chose to love him unconditionally. I admit it’s a beautiful thing for a woman to stand by her man. Yet, I wonder if waiting for a man who is not your husband sets you up for an emotional roller coaster of uncertainty and pain.
I am somewhat of a traditionalist and I make no concessions for that. My values in the area of dating are what many might consider old-fashioned or out-of-style. But one thing I know for sure is that dating the way of the world doesn’t work. I’ve loved and lost many times during my dating, rarely asking God to show me whom I should give my time and heart to. I’ve dated men who said they wanted to get married only to discover that they weren’t ready. I’ve dated many others who said they weren’t interested in anything serious just to see if I’d stick around long enough through their indiscretions. Through all the tears, I finally got the lesson that men will take advantage if you let them. I had to take a stand and follow God's lead in my dating. It was the only way to protecting my heart and being ready to receive the man who was ready to be my husband.
" What I know for sure is that dating the way of the world doesn’t work."
For all of our wonderful qualities, women often make the mistake of allowing our heart to rest in places that are not appropriate for us. We’re too willing to adjust our values, our desires and our dreams for what we perceive to be the love of our lives. It’s a bit ironic because God has always regarded woman as the jewel to be found, not the other way around. You are the prize and should be treated as the precious jewel that you are. Committing to a broken man or one who isn’t ready for the type of relationship you want is not God’s best. Marrying a person who felt pressured to marry or someone whose emotional pain hasn’t been dealt with will challenge every aspect of your relationship. Why go through all of that drama if you don’t have to? Rather than waiting for the man to come around, why not flip the script and be such a standout that he’ll either have to step-up or regret that he lost you. How do you accomplish this? Walk into your husband's path. Keep your standards high, pursue your passions and only allow your heart to be filled by the man who is ready to make you his wife.
Kanika is a Producer / Writer for FindingMorris.com
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