Free samples

Have you ever been to the food court at the mall? You see all of these fast-food places and restaurants all lined up selling every variety of food that most people would like. When you look closer there are always these people in uniform holding a little piece of chicken on a stick for you to sample. Have you ever watched men in this scenario? Men will eat the chicken on a stick, leave, and still go over to Burger King and buy a whole super size combo and the whole nine.

Now, I'm not saying that you are a piece of chicken. You are obviously more valuable than that. But truth be told, that is what men do with women too. They will sample your goods, and still keep it moving down to the next woman. So, when you understand how they think, you can make better choices regarding what you will and won't do in a relationship.

Now you're probably thinking-- at the mall everyone has chicken on a stick, and even though some people eat and run away, some do stay and buy the combo meal. How can I compete with all of that? Here's how.

" In God's plan you don't have to give "free samples" to get a man to be interested in marrying you. "

You don't have to stand out in the hall with your well seasoned chicken hanging off of a stick. All you have to do is:

1- Have a good name in the mall food court.
2- Actually have great food
3- Make your menu and your food appealing to the eye.

• Having a good name is about good Christian character, being polite, telling the truth, working hard, getting along with people, etc.
When people at your job, at church, at the gym or wherever see this kind of behavior in you, they will say great things when asked about you. Just like a restaurant with a good review, it's then that your good reputation will proceed you into every situation. In fact good people will be drawn to you.
• Having great food is a kin to having substance, actually being marriage material for the perspective man that is looking for you.
Trust me when I tell you that he is in fact looking for you right now. The question is whom will he find when he gets to you? Will you be ready for marriage?
Do you have your heart available for him, or does part of your heart still connected to some other guy?
Are you willing to sacrifice and share everything with this man? Your money, your thoughts? Your credit score? Your past?, yes the dude from spring break too! :-)
•Making your menu and food easy on the eye is also a key to countering the "free sample" women from crowding all of the men in the food court of your life. While the offers to get a free sample may be tempting, just like hearing about a great restaurant from a friend, a man's intention when showing up to the food court is to buy a combo from you, and only you. Men ask around about the women that they are interested in, and hearing great reviews about you really helps to help a man to "see" you as something he may want. If he has heard great things about you, and when meeting you for the first time your menu is great, and your presentation is tight, then you can count on a man buying what you have to offer.

"Free samples" lead to insecurity in your true position in a man's life. The right man will see what you have to offer, hear about your good name from other people, and just want to have you. He will want you even while standing in the middle of the food court full of people offering chicken on a stick standing all around him. He will see you as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and choose you over everyone else. Free samples can't offer you that. Making him wait 90 days before giving him a free sample can't offer you that either, only God's way can.

James is the host and a contributing writer for FindingMorris.com

Butterflies

Do those butterflies you feel with a person the key to making a relationship last forever? I used to think so until a mentor of mine shared how important it is for a man to find his wife, declare his love and then marry her. The conversation was perplexing to me at the time, mostly because I thought the butterflies or chemistry I felt was more important than how the man felt about me. As far as I was concerned, if I liked a guy everything would be fine. All I had to do was show my interest. But for some reason, that logic didn't seem to be working for me.
I needed to know how to weed out the life draining, unfaithful men, and receive God's best for me and my mentor took it upon himself to show me how.

"Before I allowed God to change my heart, I tended to gauge my interest in a guy by the level chemistry I felt when we were together. Rolled into that was height, weight, education level and even what shade he was."

If you must know, I was a personal fan of the chocolate variety :-) I let myself be swooned by his swagger telling myself that we had real "chemistry." Never leaving too much room for him to run me down like Pepe Le Pew, I assumed that the man that I liked would somehow find his way to loving me forever. In some cases, a certain type of love was present, but not the kind that creates a joyful lifelong marriage.

Three years ago, I called my mentor and reminded him of how he blessed me by allowing me to see how a God fearing man loves his wife. He was always so attentive to her, providing not only a good life, but one that supported her spirit as well. You could tell they were real genuine friends. When I saw similar characteristics in my future husband, I was able to push pass my physical checklist and receive him into my life. You've heard it on the FindingMorris show. James wasn't my type at first. After all, he wasn't even chocolate. :-) But as I allowed him in, the chemistry I swore could never be found was there in abundance. And that "chemistry" grew out of the biggest thing that we had in common--God. I understand when single women say that without chemistry a relationship can't work. Hey, I used to be that woman. I challenge you to dig a little deeper and let the chemistry you expect to feel early on to develop on it's own. Consider a man that you wouldn't normally go for and let him demonstrate the love he has to give. Allow him to share his heart, his life and his love for the things that make you, you. That's what I did. Over time, James felt special to me and the moment he first kissed me I knew that he loved me deeper than I could imagine. In fact, the emotion was so great that I cried. Opening myself up and accepting a man based on his Godly ways really blessed me, and God will do the same for you too. God changed my heart and I'm better for it. Embrace the notion that you are the princess in the relationship, let a Godly man love you, and the chemistry you can't seem to live without will eventually find you.

Kanika is a writer, and Producer for FindingMorris.com

12 tips for Christian dating, Part Three

From the book: GOD WILL MAKE A WAY by Dr.’s Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Remember to keep your self accountable to Godly people when dating. This list blessed me when I was dating. When I didn't have my brothers, who gave me Godly council to keep my accountable at midnight, I would look it over. Email us and I'll send you the entire thing. Check it out:

1. BEGIN WITH PURSUING GOD AND BECOME THE HEALTHIEST PERSON YOU CAN BECOME.

Dating begins with you being in a process of becoming the most complete, honest, loving, creative, satisfied person you can be. That kind of life comes from seeking God, allowing him to lead you into the growth that you need and following his righteousness as best you can. Then, as you find the right way to be in a relationship, the rest will fall into place. A healthy person dates in healthy ways and is able to attract healthy and satisfying people.


2. GET YOUR RELATIONSHIPS NEEDS MET OUTSIDE THE DATING CONTEXT.

You need to get to a place where your life is so full without a mate that you will not be distressed or lonely when you do not have one in your life. As you begin to let other supportive people get close to you, know your heart, and touch your loneliness and some of your hurts, you will become stronger and you will find yourself dating out of a desire to find someone with whom to share your life with, as opposed to a desire to get a life.

3. LEARN YOUR PATTERNS AND WORK ON THEM SO YOU DO NOT REPEAT THEM.

Whatever the situation, we usually have something to do with either creating the pattern or allowing it to be present. When we begin to see our patterns, we can do something about them, before they cause serious problems. To do this however, you will need to find out why you have this pattern. Why are you attracted to certain kinds of people and what sucks you in?

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