Your gifts not your list

The only person that can control is YOU! The best list you can male is about you and whom you need to be for the husband God has for you.
The right balance of looks spirituality and fun in a person can be too much to process and can take the joy out of the dating process. We all know on some level the kind of person we want, but where we often fall short is in our own preparation for our spouse. In the best marriages you will spend more time thinking of being the blessing than receiving a blessing. Serving them, not receiving from them.

What's more valuable then having a list of wants (especially for a woman) is having a list of your best gifts. Seeing these in writing will help you to clearly see where your best gifts should reside. You may date Johnny the accountant and learn that he is great with numbers and also needs to grow with his people skills. Just so happens that on YOUR LIST of gifts is people person. Johnny may be great in the kitchen but is often late and misses key appointments. On your list of gifts is planning.

"The point is your gifts shall make room for you, NOT your long list of things that you think he should have."

Your gifts should be the focus as one of your big responsibilities in marriage is to give to your spouse. Your gifts will make room in his mind, room in his heart, room in his wallet praise God :-). When your allow your gifts to bless a man it's hard for him not to reciprocate.

I say your list should be about what you give to your husband - to - be and then that list will help you to know and have peace about whom to choose. It will help you to clearly see the home for your best gifts to reside.

You can't control who approaches you for a date. You can however control your readiness so when the right one approaches you'll be confident and ready.

-James is the Host / Staff Writer for FindingMorris.com

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Who makes more? Does it matter?

I was talking to a single sister last week about what she was looking for in a husband and was somewhat surprised by how important a man's salary was to her. Christians talk a lot about sex and relationship drama, but we often feel a little "crunchy" when talking about our financial expectations. I guess it’s a bit too personal to share that you won’t marry someone who has credit problems, doesn’t have a college degree, or makes less money than you.

So, I spoke with more people about it and surprisingly more than one woman said she wouldn’t consider a guy who made less money than her. I understand the desire for financial security, but having a restrictive policy about money can disqualify a man who could be the perfect husband for you. The Word of God teaches us that He is more concerned that your potential Boaz having the heart to learn and do the right thing with the money he has. If he’s a tither, giver and is disciplined enough to understand the value of saving should he qualify. Failing to receive that man because of his current money state is kin to ignoring the principles
God has given us for righteous living. Don't blow this principled dude off just because he uses the 1040EZ form.

I know it’s tough for many women to conceive of having
babies with a man that makes less than she does. From jump street
women are thinking about, if I make more then him, how can
I take time off from work to have his babies with only his income to
sustain us. Women are also concerned about how he feels about her
higher income. "Will he still feel like the man if I am bringing more
home than him?" Keeping it real some women wonder if she can still
see him as "the man" if he makes less. Men should understand a woman’s need for security and should be willing to do whatever it takes to offer that security to her. Anything legal or moral that is ☺

Here is the balance. It's the principles of God that we can surely
lean on to give us stable and dependable advice about all dating criteria. Making a decision about which man to date based on his income has it's place in your deliberations. However, his salary or lack there of, should not be considered higher than any principle of God. If your potential spouse is short on cash, but high on patience and
character shouldn’t you be open to marrying him? If your potential husband is committed to the things of God, the two of you agree on the core areas of life, and if he is pleased to
dwell with you, sounds like you have already heard from God. Would you
really let that kind of man go because he makes less money than you?

Praying our sisters won't miss God ever again! In Jesus' name. Amen!

James is the host and a contributing writer for FindingMorris.com