Your gifts not your list

The only person that can control is YOU! The best list you can male is about you and whom you need to be for the husband God has for you.
The right balance of looks spirituality and fun in a person can be too much to process and can take the joy out of the dating process. We all know on some level the kind of person we want, but where we often fall short is in our own preparation for our spouse. In the best marriages you will spend more time thinking of being the blessing than receiving a blessing. Serving them, not receiving from them.

What's more valuable then having a list of wants (especially for a woman) is having a list of your best gifts. Seeing these in writing will help you to clearly see where your best gifts should reside. You may date Johnny the accountant and learn that he is great with numbers and also needs to grow with his people skills. Just so happens that on YOUR LIST of gifts is people person. Johnny may be great in the kitchen but is often late and misses key appointments. On your list of gifts is planning.

"The point is your gifts shall make room for you, NOT your long list of things that you think he should have."

Your gifts should be the focus as one of your big responsibilities in marriage is to give to your spouse. Your gifts will make room in his mind, room in his heart, room in his wallet praise God :-). When your allow your gifts to bless a man it's hard for him not to reciprocate.

I say your list should be about what you give to your husband - to - be and then that list will help you to know and have peace about whom to choose. It will help you to clearly see the home for your best gifts to reside.

You can't control who approaches you for a date. You can however control your readiness so when the right one approaches you'll be confident and ready.

-James is the Host / Staff Writer for FindingMorris.com

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Live event "Brothers Speak Out!"

ATL Single people::: Why are 51% of women unmarried? Why wont he pop the question? Should the person you date have access to your cell phone password?

Join me Wednesday night for Brothers speak out. This session will feature single men from ATLanta speaking about these and many more subjects.

The SPICE singles ministry will have the single men of Total Grace Christian Center front and center to talk about real things that effect the walk of the unmarried folk in the church.

Come and join me as "Brothers Speak Out!"

Wednesday April 14th, 2010
7:30pm in the main sanctuary
Total Grace Christian
4000 Covington Hwy
Decatur, GA, 30032
404-289-2229

12 tips for Christian dating, Part Two

From the book: GOD WILL MAKE A WAY by Dr.’s Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Remember to keep your self accountable to Godly people when dating. This list blessed me when I was dating. When I didn't have my brothers, who gave me Godly council to keep my accountable at midnight, I would look it over. Email us and I'll send you the entire thing. Check it out:

4. DATING ACCORDING TO A FEW NON-NEGOTIABLE VALUES.

You will be less likely to stay in a relationship that is bad for you if you before you date have a clear idea of what values you want to guide your life. People can be pretty subtle about their dark sides. So have a set of values that inform your dating decisions. Those values should act as an alarm system when someone you are dating violates them.


5. EXPAND YOUR TASTE.

Be open to going out with people whom you would normally not have on your list. Date to learn. Date to have fun. Date to have meaningful interactions with human beings. Look at each situation as a chance to get to know a person and find out something about you.



6. BE YOURSELF, FROM THE BEGINNING.

Pretending to be someone you aren’t rules out the possibility of real intimacy. Differences are exciting and part of what a real relationship is about. Sparks and chemistry come not only from where you are alike and already connected but also from where you are different. Differences create space between people where longing and desire can develop. There is a desire to join and enjoy what you do not possess. You are enlarged by the other person.


7. DON’T PUT UP WITH BAD BEHAVIOR, AND SET GOOD BOUNDARIES.

Many people put up with a lot of disrespect in dating and then wonder why they are in a problem relationship. Remember, you will get what you tolerate. If you see patterns that you do not want to be there, deal with them early. If the person you are dating stops the negative behavior, you come out ahead. If they don’t like being confronted and goes away, you still come out ahead. Both results are good for you. You cannot loose.


8. TAKE YOUR TIME

Don’t move into a relationship too quickly. Take the time to get to know a person in different situations; get to know his or her friends, values, family, faith everything you can know about someone. You have to make sure that you are not just indulging your hormones or fantasies when you open the door of your heart and get serious with someone. Take the time to make sure you know a person well before getting into a serious or exclusive dating relationship. If the other person has a problem with that, see it as a warning sign. It may point to a need to control or be dependent.

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12 tips for Christian dating, Part One

From the book: GOD WILL MAKE A WAY by Dr.’s Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Remember to keep your self accountable to Godly people when dating. If your cousin Lisa is asking you out to "ESSO" (ATL club) and needs to drop by the weed spot on the way, you may not want to get her counsel about your dating situation. This list blessed me when I was dating. When I didn't have my brothers to keep my accountable at midnight, I would look it over. Email us and I'll send you the entire thing. Check it out:

9. STAY CONNECTED

Don’t date in isolation. Integrate the person you are dating into your community of friends. Allow your friends to be your spiritual family and depend on them for input. By staying connected to a community, you will ensure that your deepest needs will be met, you will get support and accountability, and from that strong base you will make better decisions.



10. GET ACTIVE

God provides as you seek him, but he also wants us to be doing our part of getting into life and being in the real world.


Here are a few ways you could begin to meet more people:

· network with family and friends. · Pursue the things you enjoy.

· join others who have the same need. · use your gift of hospitality.

· do something structured.



11. LOOK IN THE MIRROR

If you are taking steps to meet new people and no one is showing interest in you, ask yourself why. Maybe there is something about your personality, or behavior, or the way you come across to others that you are not aware of that is getting in the way. Ask yourself, “What am I doing to make someone to whom others would be attracted? What do I need to learn about myself that might be keeping me stuck?” Find some friends who will be honest with you and give you feed back. Maybe there is a real problem that you can work on, and you may find some good things happening.



12. KEEP YOURSELF PURE

Do not set yourself up by being promiscuous, even in a more serious relationship. You will have no idea what is truly going on and will not know what part of sex is playing in making it all work. Then later, when there is all the pressure of commitment, conflict, children and the like, you might find that there was a shaky foundation from the beginning.

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• 404-567-5752
  

Playing games with God

Before I gave my singleness to God, it seemed that every three to six months I found myself interested in someone. I’d date him for three months, but most times it didn’t go any further. By my late twenties, the pattern became a great frustration to me. I knew being celibate would be a turn off to most men, but I never thought it would hinder me from getting married. Yet, like clockwork by month three he was gone taking my heart with him.

By the time I was 28, I was in a real funk. Men no longer asked me out. They weren’t striking up conversations with me in the grocery aisle. I felt like God was hiding me away, letting my best years pass me by. I just wanted to be loved like everybody else. This was the worst year of my loneliness. I began to feel that I couldn’t do any better. And it was also the year that God was able to get my attention.

You see, God will not play second best to your desires. I could have whined all I wanted for the next ten years about why I wasn’t married, but the fact remains;

"I was playing games with God by keeping him from having an active role in my dating life. I made choices on whom to date without consulting Him."

I said my Hallelujah’s at church, yet when it came to giving my heart to someone I was the master of my life. It’s tough to admit, but it was pride that was keeping me from the life of my dreams.

Once I made up my mind to stick closer to God, my outlook on life slowly began to change. Even though I often cried myself to sleep from the loneliness, I began to feel the Lord’s arms comforting me. In His Word I discovered the depth of His unconditional love and what kind of man I should accept into my life. If marriage was my heart’s desire, I had to take the cue from heavenly Father and do away with childish things. It didn’t matter how great the guy was, whether my family liked him, or how much I once loved him. If he wasn’t the kind of man who put God’s desires above his own or someone who wasn’t sincerely dating me with the purpose of marriage, I had to let him go.

I know this sounds old fashioned. But I tell you, letting God into that part of my life protected me from hurt, gave me the confidence to believe that God was preparing me for the man that was best for me and allowed my heart to be available when my husband eventually showed up. If you find yourself "on the fence" of decision, run to the One who knows you best of all. Surrender your singleness by letting Jesus into every part of your life.

Let these men go if:

If he is not the kind of man who put God’s desires above his own
If he is someone who is not sincerely dating you with the purpose of marriage
If he loves anything more than God including his mother, his Madden football, his car, or his boys
If he doesn't have a plan for his life or isn't actively pursuing that plan
If he'd rather spend his money on himself rather than you
If he doesn't have have a good work ethic
If he doesn't work

Win a "What Boyfriend?" T-shirt

We are giving away a "What Boyfriend?" T-Shirt to the person with
the best dating question for our panel of single Christian brothers.
Just contact us at Finding Morris at Gmail.com
or if your not too shy leave your name and city along with your question at
404-567-5752

Am I Christian 1st, then Black 2nd?

Apparently I'm late to the game, but I just read that 70% of black women are single! WTH!??
I pray that our sisters get the memo, that we are Christians first, then we are black.
We often tell ourselves and others that God is the center of our lives. Yet we often times surround ourselves with people that don't honor God or His Word. I'm sure it's mostly because they are family or we find a sense of comfort knowing they share in the black experience. We should be ashamed of ourselves. God never told us to forsake his principles for the sake of our culture or ethnicity.

As a black man, I understand the solidarity we share as a community. We have depended on one another over the years for support, understanding, culture, and self-identity. We've found acceptance in our community when we were shunned elsewhere. Don't get it twisted. I love being black. I love my black people, but I don't identify with being black as my primary "click" or group of affiliation. See, I'm with Jesus first. You know why? Because support, understanding, culture, and self identity are NOT spiritual. They won't last forever. For example, I feel differently now about my self-identity then I did a month ago. The truth is only the things we do for God are permanent.

"Choosing a husband is the kind of decision that should be made based on secure principles that do not change."


I can hear someone saying, "Being black is not going to change the way society sees me. I didn't choose to be born black." This is true. Being black may be permanent in this earthly life, but it IS NOT spiritual. Here is what I'm saying. Knowing men like I do, you should be open to marry a Godly man regardless of his race. If I were a woman, I would be available to ALL single Christian men. Yes white single Christian men too. Now that IS spiritual. With that, you have effectively made God and His word your priority and NOT ascribing to some sense of racial loyalty. Having a Christ led family should be paramount to us. Choose the Christ in a man as a spiritual principle for Godly living. We overcome by the blood of the lamb, not by the blood in our veins, nor the blood of our forefathers.

James is the host of FindingMorris.com an Online Singles Ministry Radio program available 24/7

Are you truly single?

All the Single Ladies (Reposted from Nikki's Blog) "All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!" Don’t front. You ain’t so saved that you haven’t heard that Beyonce song. My goodness, is it me or is it everywhere? Man, I even thought I heard it in a ‘Feed the Hungry’ commercial, LOL. And don’t play, some of you started dancing the moment you saw the lyrics (smile). It’s all good though. All the praise dancers holla at your girl for lessons in the foyer after church, LOL. Y'all ain't ready! Okay, jokes aside, today I wanted to pose a question to all my single folk. And don’t start fidgeting with your pencil either. This is a simple one (smile). Here it is: Are you truly single? I ask this question because in my observations, it almost seems as if some are so afraid of being alone that they would rather settle for a bastardized version of love than wait on God. It’s crazy. I’ve never in all my life encountered so many who are single with conditions. And you know what’s even crazier? Most don’t even know their not single. Check it out: "Anytime you keep someone on reserve as your unspoken plan B, you’re not single. Anytime you waste time with someone you know in your heart is not God’s best for your life, you’re not single." Anytime you continue to lay hands on yourself, thereby cheating on your future spouse, guess what? You’re not single. Real talk, if God can’t trust you with your own hand, how can He trust you in a marriage? Hello somebody! And I know it may seem coarse, but I need you to get this. God needs you to get this. It’s time out for the “all by myself” blues. It’s time out for acting as if love doesn’t love you. What benefit can be gathered from lamenting over yesterday? And understand, I’m not trying to be dismissive. Hurt is real. And we’ve ALL experienced it. Yet at the end of the day you have to make up in your mind that you’ve simply had enough. You have to make a decision to do things differently. Today I want to challenge you to let last year be the last year. The last year for fruitless relationships. The last year for unresolved heart hurt. The last year for it all. And don’t get it twisted, in speaking to you I speak to me too. See, the reality of my life is that I too needed to get some things in order. And I know I speak of marriage a lot but I make no apologies. I understand my call. And because I understand it, I have no problem allowing God to use me as an example. Why? Simple. For great is my reward. Yours too! Know that for every hurt, every tear, and every heartache, your joy will be greater. Yeah, this is the season of great manifestations. And God has a love for you that is so beautiful, so joyous, and so pure, it’s just plain old ridiculous (smile). In fact, don’t be surprised if you find you have to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. Hmmm, play your cards right and you may find yourself pinching your spouse to show them that their not dreaming, lol. And all of the church said, "Ahhhmennnnnnnnnnn! To you on the other side of this screen, know that I love you with the love of Christ. I really do. I love you so much that I’m willing to tell you what is right and risk you being mad at me. See real love would rather see you uncomfortable in truth than complacent in a lie. And I speak these things because I want to see you blessed. In all areas. But here’s the thing: If you don’t get yours in this season, don’t blame God. No homey, this year it’s on you. The question is what will you do with it? Selah. So be encouraged. You’re going to make it. Your time of singleness is drawing to a close. Let us continue to allow God to form us that all will be in order when He comes. Love you still, Nikki Washington, CEO www.glowmagazineonline.com Subscribe to the FM newsletter and get more great Christian stories like this

FM35-3rd Annual Valentines Day Show

We have the answers to the questions that single women asked our panel of Christian single brothers. Listen now...

FM35-3rd_Annual_Valentines_Day_(29:00)
• Will you still marry me if we have premarital sex?
• With all the beautiful saved women around, why are you still single?
• Why do men look at other women when we are together?
• Why do men hide their true feelings from women?

Contact us if you have any questions, topics, comments for the show call us anonymously or put “your stuff on blast” at (404)567-5752

Finding Morris is brought to you by the FM faithful, listeners like you. If Finding Morris has been a blessing to you, consider donating to support the program and blog as we serve you. Click on the Donate button on the upper right hand side on the main page. Sow your support into good ground, FindingMorris.com

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Where is he taking you?

(Updated Wed 12-17-2008)

Where is he taking you exactly?

How would you describe a woman that would get into a car with a man that she doesn't know? My caribbean grandmother would call such a woman a "damn foolish good-for-nuthin gal." Thank God for Jesus and grace, so I'll just call her unwise.

Remember when our parents drilled into our heads, “don’t get into cars with strangers.” Somehow we’ve forgotten the wisdom of that lesson. Just because we’re adults we think it’s socially okay to get into the car with a virtual stranger on a date. In fact, when a guy asks out a woman, he usually offers her fun, a good time without any stated final destination. Fun can be dinner and dancing, a movie or a play, but to what end, and to what destination?

A wise sister knows the man that she’s getting a car ride from. She has done her homework, observed his relationship with God and knows how he treats other people, especially women. Sister’s are too often swayed by the promise of marriage by single brothers in the church who sit in the front row on Sunday morning, only to want to drive them to a motel afterwards. What would happen if sisters in the church found out if the man was actually marriage material before going out? What would happen if a woman knew the destination of the relationship, before the first date?

The shameful truth is that a man should share his vision for the relationship at the very beginning of the dating process. Sadly, many of us don't. Since many of us come up short in this area, it's important to protect your heart against disappointment by asking upfront, "Where are we going with this? Are you looking for a wife?” I know it’s a bold move, but it will save you a lot of time and heartache my “sistah.”

The kind of brother that you really want to be married to will tell you that he’s looking for a wife. The players will treat you like your overreacting, or dangle the bait with this classic line, “Well, I’m looking to get married someday.” By the way, that line kept a sister I dated in check for years.

Now I know some women are reading this saying “What he’s saying is crazy!” After all you don’t want to run him away. But if you have the courage to believe that God wants you to have a husband who is into you and no one else, loves you unconditionally, and supports every dream you have, you won’t get inside a stranger’s car (if he has a car) for dinner dates, movie dates, and family visits. You won’t allow yourself to meander through the relationship without a clear vision of his intentions.

If you have found yourself in his car, wondering; hey, where are you taking me, what are your plans for this relationship? Don’t be afraid to assert yourself and get him to “make it plain” for you. If you don’t, you may think he's driving you towards marriage, only to find he has intentions to stop-off at a motel. Avoid all of this, trust the Holy Ghost to guide you, and simply ask they guy you’re dating, “Where are you taking me?”

-James is the host of FindingMorris.com an online singles ministry radio program

When should commitment begin?

When should commitment begin during the dating process
Annette writes:
Q: What I mean is that I don't limit myself to "one man" unless we're both considering marriage. I think the American way of dating is highly impractical. The point of dating is to get to know someone and see if they could be a potential life partner. The act of "committing" to one person not only limits your choices, it makes no sense because everyone breaks up in (dating) relationships except (in) one. Why not take out the middle man (committed dating) and save commitments for when they actually matter (in preparation for marriage). When I say I want to be free, I mean the freedom of being unattached to any brother until I think he is marriage material. If I think I could possibly marry the dude, then we can start talking about committed dating. Until then, they need to slow their roll. I'm not a ice cream flavor to be "taste-tested" before a purchase." I want a brother who already knows what his favorite flavor is--Me--and that's that. I won't settle for anything less. Being single without a significant other is not as bad as being single in a crappy relationship!

A:
Anette is from California. Thank you for your insight. IS SHE RIGHT?
Where did we get the idea that having a commitment before marriage is so important? Commit too soon and you could be stuck with somebody that you don't know very well. Or you could very well miss your Halle or Morris (God's best). Many Christians rush into a commitment. Our sistahs are especially susceptible to this because they want security. They want that feeling of warmth and comfort. They want to be covered by and connected to a man. Sometimes it seems any man will do as long as he has just a little Jesus in him.

Exclusively upgrading your dating status before you can clearly judge whether or not the other person has what it takes to to be a great spiritual partner is dangerous. By spiritual I'm not talking about church attendance alone (which is a great indicator by the way). Trust me when I tell you that you DO NOT want to be committed to someone that is NOT a good match for you spiritually. If your gift of speaking in unknown tongues is looked down upon, if giving God a tenth of your salary is foreign to them, if giving God praise during tough times is met with negativity, you may certainly desire to be free from that person and be joined to someone who is where you are in the Lord.

So when should commitment actually begin? Lets be real. In the beginning, we focus on how the other person makes us feel, how cute they are, what a good person they are, etc. All good stuff, just not spiritual stuff. Commit to soon and you'll risk being joined to the wrong person for you. You risk joining a person you don't know enough about. Especially considering that many of us often lack first hand knowledge of the persons' level of spirituality in the beginning. We think she is spiritual because she prays, but she can regularly be found cursing someone out of the same mouth that praises our God.

The things that matter spiritually should be apparent during the dating process. You get the chance to observe the other person's life with friends and family. Watch how they respond during stressful times, joyful times and their attitudes about money, and children are good indicators to look for. Get to know their thoughts about fornication and abstinence. When using the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, all of this and more can be discovered about a date without an exclusive commitment. In fact, the closer you get to the person your dating, the more you feel for them, the tougher it is to clearly discern the "core agreements" that are needed to have a successful marriage.

Yes I said the "M" word marriage. See that is what this is all about, first being marriage material yourself; then discovering that same qualities in the person your dating. Christians seem look to commitment as the litmus test for discovering the potential compatibility with someone you date. The truth is that ever person you will ever date will end up in a break - up, with the exception of one; the person you marry for a lifetime. Commitment, however, seems to pacify the fears of leary saints. Fears of being cheated on and fears of loving and not being loved in return.

My problem with these commitments is that they esteem your date's attributes as too important, when God and His principles are supposed to be the highest, and greatest thing. Many Christians simply do not know enough about the spiritual character of the people we date. In fact, most of us trust so deeply when entering into a commitment with someone that, in effect, the trust becomes like an offering of faith. Faith in anyone but God is sin. We need to see evidence from everyone but God before giving our trust.

Let me stop screwing around with this and tell you the real.(Lord help me) A great indication of your connection with the person you date is that they, on their own, no longer have the desire to go out with someone else. They feel this way because you interest them, they like you, they enjoy your company, your always on their mind, not because you manipulate them, "corner" them, or give them the ol' commitment ultimatum. They spend time with you out of their own free will and desire, and that is the way you should want it. Think about it, that is how God treats us. God doesn't even ask us to enter into relationship with Him, before you get a chance to know Him, and His glorious ways. Doesn't He say "hey, come to church, I wrote a little something for you that I want you to read. Keep hanging out with me and get to know me, I got some great news for you. Guess what I love you, and I loved you before you were born...." You get my drift, the point is that we want people to love us on purpose, because of who we are, just as God does.

I can hear some of you now saying, " So what am I supposed to do, meet somebody, then jump straight into getting married and then get to know them afterwards ...I'm not God!" Unequivocally, NO! Next time we are going to talk about that and how to trust God more than you trust your date. Check me out again in part two of the article we will talk about the myths surrounding "when should commitments begin?"

-James

Finding Morris is brought to you by the FM faithful, listeners like you. If Finding Morris has been a blessing to you, consider donating to support the program and blog as we serve you. Click on the Donate button on the upper right hand side on the main page. Sow your support into good ground, FindingMorris.com

************************ADVERTISEMENT*************************

Finding Morris is also brought to you by TellOurLoveStory.com What these guys do is great. They create a custom made videos of you and your love in the style of E! true hollywood story. Imagine having a video like this for your wedding, your graduation, your family reunion. Visit TellOurLoveStory.com today and tell them that you you heard about them on FindingMorris.com for a 25% discount.

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Contact us if you have any questions, topics, comments for the shoe call us now: (404)567-5752

How often should a man call?

How often should a man call?

A very wise woman once told me that dating is mind over matter.
Which is if you mind, then it matters. The truth is that if it matters to you that he calls you regularly then you should not feel ashamed
or inadequate when asking to have your needs met. So how often should a man call a woman that he is dating, that can not be qualified by me or anyone else. Your standard of how much a man should call is the only right answer.

Many people would tell you "Girl, a good man is hard to find, don't loose your man over a little phone calling". Are they right? Remember this, these are the same people that probably dwell on the negative odds and the statistics about finding a man.

Let the Holy Ghost lead you into God's perfect peace about everything in your dating. So what do you do when a brother doesn't call you after several days?
Number one: Don't ignore the facts. The facts are that men go after what they want like car's, video games, and yes women. It may be uncomfortable to hear but men that don't call, don't come by, don't text, are busy thinking about something that they think is more important that you. (ouch) Sorry.
Number two:Don't make excuses for him. Communication and the lack there of is a core issue that two people must agree on. Couples with poor communication skills would most likely end up in daily conflict having disagreements in the area of communication.

You may say, but how do I know if it’s good to hear from him everyday? Here’s a good spiritual rule of thumb: If your desire for a phone call negatively affects his or your life's responsibilities like work, family, household responsibilities, church, etc. Your desire may be out of order. However, let's get this straight, let's keep it real now. For example,

"if the man you’re dating has gone to church on Sunday, spent time with his family, paid his bills, watched the football game and back-to-back re-runs of SportsCenter without giving you a call by 9:30 p.m. there is a very good chance that this brother does not have you filed in the priority folder of his life."

A brother with this kind of take-her-or-leave-her mentality could rapidly grow weary with you in a life long marriage. His communication style is purely self-involved and if you’re the type that enjoys being courted,and wooed, even after marriage, it’s better to recognize those signs earlier than later.

Now here is the thing, it's not your job to change him. Let me repeat. It is not your job to change him. Remember who you are. You are the missing piece from Adam’s side. This means that you will fit perfectly at the side of God's best man for you just as you are. You won’t have to force it, you will just fit into his life…and at his side there will be more than enough room for you.

James, Is the host of FindingMorris.com an Online Singles Ministry Radio 24-7-365
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:::

How sistahs can truly "Find" Morris, Part 3

As we conclude this series, I just want to encourage you to guard your heart and keep your faith in God. Dating as a Christian is difficult, but staying true to your convictions is even harder. Instead of putting so much importance on his favorite food or what size shoe he wears (not that shoe size isn’t important…wink, wink) here are just some of the core values you should be talking about on your dates with potential Morris’:

* Relationship with Jesus
* Attitudes about money
* Attitudes about sex
* Kids or no kids?
* Privacy vs. Secrecy
* In-law relationships
* Views on marriage

Now, let’s not forget the practical things like smart things and silly things. For example:

You should ask yourself if you could deal with the differences in the smart things that you agree to disagree on. While politics and taxes might be your passion, metric wrenches and computer software

might really get him going. It’s okay if you don’t share all smart things, but you should be able to participate on some level.

Now silly things to you may be the show, Dancing with the Stars and to him Monday Night Football. Sometimes silly things are connected to hobbies and extracurricular activities. Even if you have different interests, your relationship can still work. But you should take some time to evaluate whether staying connected to your core values as a couple is more important than indulging in the smart or silly things all of the time. In other words, are you willing to spend time doing the things your husband enjoys and vice versa?

Equipping yourself with answers to these questions and comparing them to your Christian values makes it easy to spot “Mr. Booty Call, Mr. Pay my Rent, and the notorious Mr. Down Low.” Don’t waste your time on these men. Simply dismiss these brothers.

A lot of women think that having more candidates is good. In fact, as most brothas will tell you with mad options, more candidates often contribute to your confusion on which one to choose. Following the tips in this series will help you quickly narrow your choices for God’s best. The great guys will have the desire to get to know you for who you are, serve your needs, honor God, and yes spend their money on you. As Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." When a man is willing to spend a great deal of time and money on you, take notice. He may just be your Morris.

If you have already met your Morris, pray for clarity on those red section brothers. The Holy Ghost will show you which brotha is for you. Whatever you do, don’t go looking for him under every rock or in the frozen food section of the supermarket. You don’t have to Find Morris. Trust God, look your best at all times and before you know it, Morris will Find you.

-James and Kanika

Listen to Finding Morris and now Finding Halle online singles ministry radio 24-7
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Should friends date each other?

Article reprinted from:
Christian Singles Radio Blog

Matchmaking And Articles Resource Hub For Single Christians

Q:
Thinking about dating a friend? A Christian single guy wrote us asking if it’s a good idea if best friends date one another. So what do you think? Should friends date each other? I know the cynical among us may agree with that line from When Harry Met Sally, “that a man and a woman can’t really be just friends.” But that’s the topic of another article. Let’s get back to the issue of whether or not friends should date.

A:
The word dating itself speaks to something important as a Christian. To us it speaks to a desire to be married. The word friend also has very specific meaning in the word of the Lord. It says in the book of Proverbs in verse 17:17 "A friend loveth at all times"

So if we are all on board with our definitions, lets ask the question again. Should friends date? In a word, yes. It is good to have a desire to go out with, and learn more about your friend, especially one that you could envision yourself marrying.

In fact what would the alternative be? To go out with a person that is not your friend, and get to know more about them even though you can not envision your self marrying them.

Sadly the latter sounds like the norm in dating today. I do not believe however that we as Christians should embrace that norm.

-James aka DjAceOneIsm

Listen to Finding Morris and now Finding Halle online singles ministry radio 24-7
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How sistahs can truly "Find" Morris, Part 1

(Reading time: 2:00 minutes)

Here’s the deal and you know it’s true. Many "sistahs" are often wrapped up into this one guy. Maybe he’s the dude from college that she just loved so much, complete with soul-ties and all. Other times he’s this great guy, handsome successful, and committed in year one, two, a promise in year three and year four…ahem…all without a ring. Sound familiar?

What if you could discover a way to "find" the Morris for you without having to put up with “Mr. Can’t Commit?” Interested? If you’re a woman who desires to marry God’s choice, take a look at the crude little chart and read on.

The circle represents all of the unmarried men. As Christians, we are gonna believe and pray that all that read this are NOT dating married men. Amen. Of the unmarried men, the blue section represents the men around you that are trying to "Holler" (as we say in the South). Holler of course means a man that is asking you out, or coming on to you. These men are the nice guys who ask for your number, or for a dinner date, and yes this also includes the men who scream, "Hey shawty" at the gas station. Thank God for our men in the blue section.

Now the red section represents the men that you actually like. The key to this little exercise is simple. Notice that some of the "red men" are actually interested in you (inside the blue section), and some are not (outside of the blue section).

The challenge is that some sistahs are willing to pray for God to give them the man they are attracted to, even if that man is not coming on to them. They’ll stand on Psalms 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” and ignore the very next verse, Psalms 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." So what is an eligible Christian woman to do? Should you just accept whatever comes along? Well come back next week as we bring it all together.

~James and Kanika

Finding Halle is On-Line Christian singles ministry radio.

FINDING HALLE.COM
Hey ya'll. There's one thing I know...men love beautiful women. And a woman who is beautiful inside and out is down right irresistible. So with all this beauty around, how does a Christian brotha find the ultimate dream girl designed just for him? How can God help him Find Halle?

EPISODE ONE IS LIVE at FindingHalle.com
The sisters talk about:

• How to give up looks and embrase the heart
• What does it mean to be equally yolked?

(TRT39:15) FH1 - Equally Yolked - Let go of Looks

What?...say it aint so. You put women on Finding Morris? Nope. Ya'll coming back on the air? Yup! As of right now were back, but this time it called Finding Halle! Brothers know that most of us want a woman that looks like Halle Berry, knows Jesus for herself but knows when to put the bible down, and make love to her husband. On Finding Morris we have this saying, that says: "We may not know women, but men we know" Finding Halle will serve the purpose of informing the brothers on the way women see dating as a Christian. In this inaugural episode our panel of Christian sisters discuss: What does it mean to be equally yolked? How to let go of looks, and embrace the heart?

Call us with your comments about the show, with topics, or just a shout out.
404-567-5752
Email us at findinghalle@gmail.com

Thanks, James FM/FH Producer