Your gifts not your list

The only person that can control is YOU! The best list you can male is about you and whom you need to be for the husband God has for you.
The right balance of looks spirituality and fun in a person can be too much to process and can take the joy out of the dating process. We all know on some level the kind of person we want, but where we often fall short is in our own preparation for our spouse. In the best marriages you will spend more time thinking of being the blessing than receiving a blessing. Serving them, not receiving from them.

What's more valuable then having a list of wants (especially for a woman) is having a list of your best gifts. Seeing these in writing will help you to clearly see where your best gifts should reside. You may date Johnny the accountant and learn that he is great with numbers and also needs to grow with his people skills. Just so happens that on YOUR LIST of gifts is people person. Johnny may be great in the kitchen but is often late and misses key appointments. On your list of gifts is planning.

"The point is your gifts shall make room for you, NOT your long list of things that you think he should have."

Your gifts should be the focus as one of your big responsibilities in marriage is to give to your spouse. Your gifts will make room in his mind, room in his heart, room in his wallet praise God :-). When your allow your gifts to bless a man it's hard for him not to reciprocate.

I say your list should be about what you give to your husband - to - be and then that list will help you to know and have peace about whom to choose. It will help you to clearly see the home for your best gifts to reside.

You can't control who approaches you for a date. You can however control your readiness so when the right one approaches you'll be confident and ready.

-James is the Host / Staff Writer for FindingMorris.com

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Interactive panel discussion

ATL SINGLES:::

Well summer is officially here, and it’s time for Blue Lights in the Basement to kick it up a notch or two in celebration of SUMMER.

The next event is Friday, June 25th from 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. at the KADTS Ballroom Dance Club (www.kadtsreallydance.com). KADTS Dance studio at 675 Metropolitan Pkwy., Atlanta, GA 30310 --> MAP
This event offers so much more than just talking about plugging into life as I so often promote, but it provides the opportunity to do so right on the spot. It will feature sexologist Dr. Chris Bass, a popular professor at Clark Atlanta University who couldn’t join us last month; online singles ministry radio host James Riley (www.findingmorris.com) a leader in dating ministry hosted by men; and Dr.Pam Thompson (www.drpamthompson.com), psychologist and professional life coach specializing in relationship development and enhancement amongst other things.

Format is different in that it will feature an interactive panel discussion on random questions near and dear to YOUR heart, real food that some may think of as “MAN FOOD,” and SIMPLE salsa lessons afterwards taught by the famously fun and talented TJAMES Scott Macauley, owner of KADTS at 675 Metropolitan Pkwy., Atlanta, GA 30310 (directions below). He’s a patient and kind instructor who makes ANYONE look like they can dance.
Ladies, PLEASE invite men to come with you (your co-worker, your brother, your cousin, your neighbor, your church member, your boyfriend/husband). Call in some favors from the men in your life. Men, PLEASE come out to enjoy some food and the ladies.

As always, you can register for the event at www.drpamthompson.com on the news and events page. You have to type in the amount on Pay Pal yourself based on whether you’re paying before the discounted deadline or afterwards. Discounted cost for the event is $15 for individuals and $25 for couples if pre-registered by June 22nd. Afterwards, cost is $20 for individuals and $30 for couples. On this same page, you can peruse recommended books for personal growth and enrichment and purchase them here as well. See attached flyer for additional details.
Directions to Kadts:
From Downtown Atlanta, take I 20 W to Lee Street exit (55B). Turn Left at the exit. Drive two blocks (two traffic lights) to Ralph David Abernathy and turn Left again. Pass under the bridge and continue forward for one block (next traffic light) to Metropolitan Pkwy. Make a sharp Right turn. Turn Right into the first driveway on the right. Drive through the gate on the left of the driveway. Enter the gate and turn sharply to the Right. Drive forward to the end of the row of buildings. Look for the canopy over the doorway. Park near doorway walk through the door under the canopy and come to the second floor. We are in suite 4212.


For more info contact:
Pam Thompson, Psy.D.
Psychologist and Professional Life Coach
Building Bridges to Better Lives, P.C.
950 Dannon View, Ste. 4201, Atl., GA 30331
ph: (404) 644-0710
fax: (404) 475-4874
www.drpamthompson.com
http://www.kudzu.com/merchant/17484024.html

Friday April 30th FindingMorris style!

ATL Singles:::

Join me Friday April 30th FindingMorris style! Look out Cascade, I'm bringing the real about dating. Check it out-->

Hot topics on FindingMorris are:
1. The Friend Zone: If a woman gets in it, is there a way out? Does that path lead to marriage?
2. The back pocket woman: This woman is sleeping with a man that she calls her boyfriend. Her insecurity
leads her to wonder if she has ruined everything by going to bed with him. He senses this and makes her a back pocket woman, the chick that you sleep with, not the chick that you marry.
3. Why are 51% of women unmarried? 70% of those black women?

Blue Lights in the Basement

Friday, March 30th Blue Lights in the Basement at Cascade - Registration and Orientation from 6:30pm to 7:30pm. Sessions from 7:00pm-8:00pm and 8:00pm-9:00pm

950 Dannon View
Suite 4201
Atlanta, GA 30331

Phone: 404 644 0710

The next Blue Lights in the Basement will no longer be in the basement of
Our Place Bakery. It’s moving to my office at Cascade and 285 where we will
have limited seating, so when you’re interested in the topics, don’t wait to
sign up. The format is also changing in order to give you more choice in
selecting specific topics and give the whole event a more intimate feel.
So, my plan is to have two facilitators beside myself who will lead
discussions in two separate offices for an hour on specific topics and give
you the choice of selecting 2 out of 3 topics, rotating to your second
choice after the first presentation.

Cost for this event is $15 to those who register by March 24th, after wards
the cost is $20. We may have some wine and cheese beforehand, and each
grouping will also have door prizes.

Live event "Brothers Speak Out!"

ATL Single people::: Why are 51% of women unmarried? Why wont he pop the question? Should the person you date have access to your cell phone password?

Join me Wednesday night for Brothers speak out. This session will feature single men from ATLanta speaking about these and many more subjects.

The SPICE singles ministry will have the single men of Total Grace Christian Center front and center to talk about real things that effect the walk of the unmarried folk in the church.

Come and join me as "Brothers Speak Out!"

Wednesday April 14th, 2010
7:30pm in the main sanctuary
Total Grace Christian
4000 Covington Hwy
Decatur, GA, 30032
404-289-2229

FM40-Finding your Barack

Do sisters in the church compare the men they date to President Barack Obama? We tackle this issue with the help of gifted author and minister of the gospel, Dr. Ty Adams and the awesome ministry gift of Toy Banks of Girls Gone God dot com.

We are excited about this historic 40th episode of FindingMorris.com. Please take the time to share this show with your people right now, so we can continue spreading the word about the benefits of Jesus styled dating.

404-567-5752 (To send us a shout out)

How sistahs can truly "Find" Morris, Part 2

Let your brother tell you the truth. Only the men that come on to you, the blue men, will make great husbands. They will have the strength to honor you in a life-long marriage. Not necessarily "the gas station dude," but you get the drift. A word of advice, leave the men outside the blue section alone. I don't care how good he looks, or how much money he has. Even if you could get this manner of man to ask you out, you wouldn't be happy with him for a lifetime. Why? The bible says in James 1:8, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."

Yet some women find themselves saying, "God told me that he was my husband." That may be true, but if the man has not received that revelation from God, he will not have the faith to love you as Christ loved the church much less lead you in a fulfilling marriage. James 1:6 says, “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." Remember, a man who loves God above anything else will lead his family into righteousness and that also means honoring his relationships by stating his intentions.

Now, here is the good news. The other men in the red section are actually pursuing you. Looking at dating from this perspective actually increases your chances of Finding Morris. But the key now is to begin looking beyond the attraction into the spirit of the man and seeking God without allowing your emotions to thwart your decision-making. No matter how you look at it, this is the only group that can possibly have God's best husband for you in it. Here’s why:

* The men not on the chart are married
* Men in the large blue section are showing their interest, but you don't like them
* You like the men in the red section outside of the blue area, but they have not read God's memo about you.

That only leaves the men in the middle where there is mutual attraction (my favorite group). These are men that ask you out. They get your number and actually call it. Simply put, they "holla".

Without getting confused with emotions. You can easily look at these dudes and choose a great husband. These men are not married, you like them, they like you too, now here’s the bigger question...which one of them share my values? Come back next week and find out what you should be asking as you get to know these brothers.

-James and Kanika
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How sistahs can truly "Find" Morris, Part 1

(Reading time: 2:00 minutes)

Here’s the deal and you know it’s true. Many "sistahs" are often wrapped up into this one guy. Maybe he’s the dude from college that she just loved so much, complete with soul-ties and all. Other times he’s this great guy, handsome successful, and committed in year one, two, a promise in year three and year four…ahem…all without a ring. Sound familiar?

What if you could discover a way to "find" the Morris for you without having to put up with “Mr. Can’t Commit?” Interested? If you’re a woman who desires to marry God’s choice, take a look at the crude little chart and read on.

The circle represents all of the unmarried men. As Christians, we are gonna believe and pray that all that read this are NOT dating married men. Amen. Of the unmarried men, the blue section represents the men around you that are trying to "Holler" (as we say in the South). Holler of course means a man that is asking you out, or coming on to you. These men are the nice guys who ask for your number, or for a dinner date, and yes this also includes the men who scream, "Hey shawty" at the gas station. Thank God for our men in the blue section.

Now the red section represents the men that you actually like. The key to this little exercise is simple. Notice that some of the "red men" are actually interested in you (inside the blue section), and some are not (outside of the blue section).

The challenge is that some sistahs are willing to pray for God to give them the man they are attracted to, even if that man is not coming on to them. They’ll stand on Psalms 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” and ignore the very next verse, Psalms 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." So what is an eligible Christian woman to do? Should you just accept whatever comes along? Well come back next week as we bring it all together.

~James and Kanika