Are you truly single?

All the Single Ladies (Reposted from Nikki's Blog) "All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!" Don’t front. You ain’t so saved that you haven’t heard that Beyonce song. My goodness, is it me or is it everywhere? Man, I even thought I heard it in a ‘Feed the Hungry’ commercial, LOL. And don’t play, some of you started dancing the moment you saw the lyrics (smile). It’s all good though. All the praise dancers holla at your girl for lessons in the foyer after church, LOL. Y'all ain't ready! Okay, jokes aside, today I wanted to pose a question to all my single folk. And don’t start fidgeting with your pencil either. This is a simple one (smile). Here it is: Are you truly single? I ask this question because in my observations, it almost seems as if some are so afraid of being alone that they would rather settle for a bastardized version of love than wait on God. It’s crazy. I’ve never in all my life encountered so many who are single with conditions. And you know what’s even crazier? Most don’t even know their not single. Check it out: "Anytime you keep someone on reserve as your unspoken plan B, you’re not single. Anytime you waste time with someone you know in your heart is not God’s best for your life, you’re not single." Anytime you continue to lay hands on yourself, thereby cheating on your future spouse, guess what? You’re not single. Real talk, if God can’t trust you with your own hand, how can He trust you in a marriage? Hello somebody! And I know it may seem coarse, but I need you to get this. God needs you to get this. It’s time out for the “all by myself” blues. It’s time out for acting as if love doesn’t love you. What benefit can be gathered from lamenting over yesterday? And understand, I’m not trying to be dismissive. Hurt is real. And we’ve ALL experienced it. Yet at the end of the day you have to make up in your mind that you’ve simply had enough. You have to make a decision to do things differently. Today I want to challenge you to let last year be the last year. The last year for fruitless relationships. The last year for unresolved heart hurt. The last year for it all. And don’t get it twisted, in speaking to you I speak to me too. See, the reality of my life is that I too needed to get some things in order. And I know I speak of marriage a lot but I make no apologies. I understand my call. And because I understand it, I have no problem allowing God to use me as an example. Why? Simple. For great is my reward. Yours too! Know that for every hurt, every tear, and every heartache, your joy will be greater. Yeah, this is the season of great manifestations. And God has a love for you that is so beautiful, so joyous, and so pure, it’s just plain old ridiculous (smile). In fact, don’t be surprised if you find you have to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. Hmmm, play your cards right and you may find yourself pinching your spouse to show them that their not dreaming, lol. And all of the church said, "Ahhhmennnnnnnnnnn! To you on the other side of this screen, know that I love you with the love of Christ. I really do. I love you so much that I’m willing to tell you what is right and risk you being mad at me. See real love would rather see you uncomfortable in truth than complacent in a lie. And I speak these things because I want to see you blessed. In all areas. But here’s the thing: If you don’t get yours in this season, don’t blame God. No homey, this year it’s on you. The question is what will you do with it? Selah. So be encouraged. You’re going to make it. Your time of singleness is drawing to a close. Let us continue to allow God to form us that all will be in order when He comes. Love you still, Nikki Washington, CEO www.glowmagazineonline.com Subscribe to the FM newsletter and get more great Christian stories like this

FM35-3rd Annual Valentines Day Show

We have the answers to the questions that single women asked our panel of Christian single brothers. Listen now...

FM35-3rd_Annual_Valentines_Day_(29:00)
• Will you still marry me if we have premarital sex?
• With all the beautiful saved women around, why are you still single?
• Why do men look at other women when we are together?
• Why do men hide their true feelings from women?

Contact us if you have any questions, topics, comments for the show call us anonymously or put “your stuff on blast” at (404)567-5752

Finding Morris is brought to you by the FM faithful, listeners like you. If Finding Morris has been a blessing to you, consider donating to support the program and blog as we serve you. Click on the Donate button on the upper right hand side on the main page. Sow your support into good ground, FindingMorris.com

************************ADVERTISEMENT*************************
Finding Morris is also brought to you by TellOurLoveStory.com What these guys do is great. They create a custom made videos of you and your love in the style of E! true hollywood story. Imagine having a video like this for your wedding, your graduation, your family reunion. Visit TellOurLoveStory.com today and tell them that you you heard about them on FindingMorris.com for a 25% discount.
******************************************************************
Our Praying Music :-) is from Lionel Jones
MySpace URL:
http://www.myspace.com/papajones7

5 Things Christian Women Should Look for in a Mate

5 Things Christian Women Should Look for in a Mate
(Reposted from Kim Brook's Blog)

Ladies, you may have had conversations with your girlfriends about what you're looking for in a mate. Well allow me to share a list of 5 things a Christian woman should consider looking for in a future spouse. Looks aren't everything (but it definitely helps! Lemme stop...) BTW – I'm not insinuating a woman go chasing after a man, this list is just a guide that describes certain character traits within a man that a woman of God should look for:

1. He may be fine, but make sure that man is saved!

Single Christian women should make sure that their future spouse is Christian as well because God admonishes believers to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers according to II Corinthians 6:14. You want to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same value system and beliefs as you do. In doing so, you create harmony in the relationship, and operate in God's perfect will for your life. Also, according to Amos 3:3, it is better for two people who are in agreement to walk together.

2. He may be saved, but make sure that man is for real!

Nowadays, it is not enough to make sure someone confesses Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior according to Romans 10:8-10. You want to also make sure his lifestyle lines up with his faith confession, and that He fears God by not desiring to break God's heart -which happens when we disobey His Word and His will. Also, how can a man love you like Christ loves the church if he doesn't know how to truly love God? Make sure that he is not only saved but that his mind has been renewed and changed by the Word of God (Romans 12:2). A man who fears God, or reverences and respects God so much that he has surrendered his own will to God's will, proves that he sincerely loves the Lord, and love must be vertical first, before it can ever be horizontal.

3. Make sure he has a vision, and knows his purpose.

The Word of God in Habakuk 2:2 commands us to write the vision and make
it plain. You want a future mate who has a vision and knows his purpose in life. Men are called to be leaders in the home, and a man who doesn't know his purpose will be leading his future intended down a path that leads to no where. When a man and a woman both know their purpose they can better envision a future together and can see how they fit into one another's lives.


4. Make sure he loves people and wins souls.

Unfortunately, there are some who call themselves Christians yet do not love people. Make sure your future spouse is not one of these persons. God's second commandment to Christians is to love their neighbors as themselves, and the best way to show that love is to tell someone else about Jesus Christ. The same way that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son is the same way, ladies, you should want to make sure your future spouse loves people so much that he willingly shares his testimony and witnesses to someone else. The Word of God, in Psalm 107:2 says, Let the redeemed of the Lord, say so, so your future mate should not be ashamed to tell it!


5. Makes sure that pleasing God is his #1 priority.

God is pleased when we, His children, obey His Word (John 14:15). For example, He is pleased when we honor our parents (Eph. 6:1), when we tithe to our local church (Mal. 3:10, Heb. 2:4), when we love one another (1 John 4:7), and when we esteem others higher than ourselves (Phil. 2:3). So it is important now, ladies, to make sure that your future spouse makes pleasing God his #1 priority, because in doing so it shows that he has the potential to love you the same way that Christ loved the church.

*Please note: Out of the 5 things listed, woman of God, it is important that you, also, possess the 5 characteristics included on this list. That way you both can be an extreme blessing to one another in your relationship.

###

Licensed minister and speaker, Kim Brooks, is the author of “He's Saved...But is He For Real?” which is the sequel to Black Expressions Bestseller, “He's Fine...But is He Saved?” and non-fiction mini-book, “The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints.” Kim publishes a monthly E-newsletter for singles entitled, “The Single Heart.” Check out free excerpts, or sign up for a free subscription to her
E-newsletter on www.Kimontheweb.com
Her books are available in bookstores nationwide

Put a ring on it

Until I met my husband, I never understood men. I didn't understand what they liked, what motivated them or why the relationship, no matter how hard I tried would last no longer than a year. I knew that I was a nice girl, attractive, church going, faithful and family oriented. What guy wouldn't want to marry a woman that was educated, kind and knew how to throw down in the kitchen? Yet, with the hope of every new relationship came the dread that it would end before it began. Sometimes it was because he had a girlfriend that I didn't know about, other times because I didn't believe in sex before marriage, but the real reason was because he wanted somebody else. I thought something was wrong with me. Sadly, I was right. But it took a heartbreaking experience to show me how wrong I was.

I dated a man that was absolutely perfect on paper: Christian, family oriented, and educated with a stable career. Even though he lived in another town, we talked every day and saw each other on the weekends. He was single, never married, no kids and was very frugal with his money. Life was great with him, so it seemed. We were engaged within 8 months. The day we went ring shopping was my first warning. We went to one store and after talking to the sales woman he ordered the ring on credit with a full money-back guarantee. I didn't question it at first. I was just so happy to be "engaged." It would take 6 weeks to make it official. Little did I know that he had no intention of marrying me.

Within six weeks an old girlfriend showed up and he broke up with me. I was heartbroken.
"As hurtful as it was,
God allowed me to learn
a deep lesson about men."

They will sacrifice their lives for what they want. He wasn't willing to sacrifice for me, but he was willing to lay it all on the line for the desire of his heart. By the way, he ended up marring her. By not paying attention to his kind of giving, I committed myself to a man that was less than God's best for me.

It took almost five years of time with the Lord, allowing him to heal me from the inside out for my outlook on dating to change. So imagine my déjà vu the afternoon another young man guided me into a jewelry shop. I was petrified. I mean, what was he thinking? This man talked to the sales woman just as the other one had. He even asked me to try on a few for kicks. Yet, this moment was different. This man brokered the deal before my eyes sacrificing his very best to make me his wife. Although our love is bigger than the piece of jewelry I wear on my left finger, I find myself staring at it often. It's a constant reminder of how God exchanged my sorrow for joy. I know you want him to "put a ring on it", it just happened to me so trust me it does happen, there are good men out there. Don't use those butterfly's, or deep loving feelings to help you decide which one to choose. The man that is "the One" will put your Godly desires ahead of his own. He will sacrifice his best to marry you. Now let that man "put a ring on it!"

Kanika, is a writer and marketing professional with FindingMorris.com
Listen on Valentines Day for the next episode of findingmorris.com

Exclusive dating-How much are you worth?

Real talk. Quality time IS essential for dating Christians. This is where the search for compatibility is done. Most people would agree that people hold back some of who they are, making the search for compatibility tougher. This is one reason why society prescribes exclusive dating, or boyfriends & girlfriends as a system to learn, love, and discover the truth in the people we date. In theory, you are supposed to date one another exclusively, and meet each others family, and loved ones. The hope is that somewhere in the process of doing this, that a person will drop their guard long enough for you to see their true self. We are supposed to use these moments of clarity to choose whether or not we have compatibility or not. For the person who is living their lives for the Lord, there are a couple of major problems with this approach:

Intimacy. Intimacy is great, it's a gift from God. Some mild forms of it are even necessary when dating. The problem with intimacy and exclusive dating is that men often become aroused in intimacy with women, and women on the other hand begin to feel secure in intimacy with men. Ya'll stop me when i'm lying. So you take a women that is feeling all warm and secure, and a man that is aroused, and then you add the dynamic of "your my boyfriend" and what we get is what we see in the church today; men and women exploring sex in all it's forms before marriage.

Timing. Another problem with exclusive dating is that many people dating this way in the church discover that the person they dated, sometimes for years, is not going to be their spouse. Now here is the thing, during the time a woman is a man's boyfriend, she doesn't know that man is NOT her husband, but God does. So being the good and righteous God that he is, he sends good men, Godly men your way. Now the woman calls it bad timing, because she has a boyfriend. We can only imagine God's perspective as he tried to bless her, but she was unavailable.

"We all know that in every case but one, exclusive dating concludes with a break - up" ,the exception of course being marriage. Seeing that marriage is what dating Christians ultimately seek, why not make marriage the centerpiece of dating, without all the ties? In the Bible, exclusivity before marriage was granted with a price. When Jacob told Laban that he wanted to marry his daughter Rachel, they agreed on a price before she was set-aside for him. Today, with our boyfriend and girlfriend culture, exclusivity costs nothing and is given freely therefore it means next to nothing, especially to men. It is Biblical for a man to collect his savings, buy a diamond and offer it to a woman as a sacrifice and a promise to marry her. No matter what our society says, the Bible does NOT support the process of women setting themselves aside exclusively before a sacrificial offering has been made. Imagine Jacob asking Laban to marry Rachel without a sacrificial demonstration of his love. Jacob worked 7 years for the hand of Rachel. How much are you worth?

-James is the host of FindingMorris.com, an online singles ministry radio program that is available 24/7

The next live taping is Saturday January 31st, 2009