How often should a man call?

How often should a man call?

A very wise woman once told me that dating is mind over matter.
Which is if you mind, then it matters. The truth is that if it matters to you that he calls you regularly then you should not feel ashamed
or inadequate when asking to have your needs met. So how often should a man call a woman that he is dating, that can not be qualified by me or anyone else. Your standard of how much a man should call is the only right answer.

Many people would tell you "Girl, a good man is hard to find, don't loose your man over a little phone calling". Are they right? Remember this, these are the same people that probably dwell on the negative odds and the statistics about finding a man.

Let the Holy Ghost lead you into God's perfect peace about everything in your dating. So what do you do when a brother doesn't call you after several days?
Number one: Don't ignore the facts. The facts are that men go after what they want like car's, video games, and yes women. It may be uncomfortable to hear but men that don't call, don't come by, don't text, are busy thinking about something that they think is more important that you. (ouch) Sorry.
Number two:Don't make excuses for him. Communication and the lack there of is a core issue that two people must agree on. Couples with poor communication skills would most likely end up in daily conflict having disagreements in the area of communication.

You may say, but how do I know if it’s good to hear from him everyday? Here’s a good spiritual rule of thumb: If your desire for a phone call negatively affects his or your life's responsibilities like work, family, household responsibilities, church, etc. Your desire may be out of order. However, let's get this straight, let's keep it real now. For example,

"if the man you’re dating has gone to church on Sunday, spent time with his family, paid his bills, watched the football game and back-to-back re-runs of SportsCenter without giving you a call by 9:30 p.m. there is a very good chance that this brother does not have you filed in the priority folder of his life."

A brother with this kind of take-her-or-leave-her mentality could rapidly grow weary with you in a life long marriage. His communication style is purely self-involved and if you’re the type that enjoys being courted,and wooed, even after marriage, it’s better to recognize those signs earlier than later.

Now here is the thing, it's not your job to change him. Let me repeat. It is not your job to change him. Remember who you are. You are the missing piece from Adam’s side. This means that you will fit perfectly at the side of God's best man for you just as you are. You won’t have to force it, you will just fit into his life…and at his side there will be more than enough room for you.

James, Is the host of FindingMorris.com an Online Singles Ministry Radio 24-7-365
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How sistahs can truly "Find" Morris, Part 3

As we conclude this series, I just want to encourage you to guard your heart and keep your faith in God. Dating as a Christian is difficult, but staying true to your convictions is even harder. Instead of putting so much importance on his favorite food or what size shoe he wears (not that shoe size isn’t important…wink, wink) here are just some of the core values you should be talking about on your dates with potential Morris’:

* Relationship with Jesus
* Attitudes about money
* Attitudes about sex
* Kids or no kids?
* Privacy vs. Secrecy
* In-law relationships
* Views on marriage

Now, let’s not forget the practical things like smart things and silly things. For example:

You should ask yourself if you could deal with the differences in the smart things that you agree to disagree on. While politics and taxes might be your passion, metric wrenches and computer software

might really get him going. It’s okay if you don’t share all smart things, but you should be able to participate on some level.

Now silly things to you may be the show, Dancing with the Stars and to him Monday Night Football. Sometimes silly things are connected to hobbies and extracurricular activities. Even if you have different interests, your relationship can still work. But you should take some time to evaluate whether staying connected to your core values as a couple is more important than indulging in the smart or silly things all of the time. In other words, are you willing to spend time doing the things your husband enjoys and vice versa?

Equipping yourself with answers to these questions and comparing them to your Christian values makes it easy to spot “Mr. Booty Call, Mr. Pay my Rent, and the notorious Mr. Down Low.” Don’t waste your time on these men. Simply dismiss these brothers.

A lot of women think that having more candidates is good. In fact, as most brothas will tell you with mad options, more candidates often contribute to your confusion on which one to choose. Following the tips in this series will help you quickly narrow your choices for God’s best. The great guys will have the desire to get to know you for who you are, serve your needs, honor God, and yes spend their money on you. As Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." When a man is willing to spend a great deal of time and money on you, take notice. He may just be your Morris.

If you have already met your Morris, pray for clarity on those red section brothers. The Holy Ghost will show you which brotha is for you. Whatever you do, don’t go looking for him under every rock or in the frozen food section of the supermarket. You don’t have to Find Morris. Trust God, look your best at all times and before you know it, Morris will Find you.

-James and Kanika

Listen to Finding Morris and now Finding Halle online singles ministry radio 24-7
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How sistahs can truly "Find" Morris, Part 2

Let your brother tell you the truth. Only the men that come on to you, the blue men, will make great husbands. They will have the strength to honor you in a life-long marriage. Not necessarily "the gas station dude," but you get the drift. A word of advice, leave the men outside the blue section alone. I don't care how good he looks, or how much money he has. Even if you could get this manner of man to ask you out, you wouldn't be happy with him for a lifetime. Why? The bible says in James 1:8, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."

Yet some women find themselves saying, "God told me that he was my husband." That may be true, but if the man has not received that revelation from God, he will not have the faith to love you as Christ loved the church much less lead you in a fulfilling marriage. James 1:6 says, “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." Remember, a man who loves God above anything else will lead his family into righteousness and that also means honoring his relationships by stating his intentions.

Now, here is the good news. The other men in the red section are actually pursuing you. Looking at dating from this perspective actually increases your chances of Finding Morris. But the key now is to begin looking beyond the attraction into the spirit of the man and seeking God without allowing your emotions to thwart your decision-making. No matter how you look at it, this is the only group that can possibly have God's best husband for you in it. Here’s why:

* The men not on the chart are married
* Men in the large blue section are showing their interest, but you don't like them
* You like the men in the red section outside of the blue area, but they have not read God's memo about you.

That only leaves the men in the middle where there is mutual attraction (my favorite group). These are men that ask you out. They get your number and actually call it. Simply put, they "holla".

Without getting confused with emotions. You can easily look at these dudes and choose a great husband. These men are not married, you like them, they like you too, now here’s the bigger question...which one of them share my values? Come back next week and find out what you should be asking as you get to know these brothers.

-James and Kanika
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Should friends date each other?

Article reprinted from:
Christian Singles Radio Blog

Matchmaking And Articles Resource Hub For Single Christians

Q:
Thinking about dating a friend? A Christian single guy wrote us asking if it’s a good idea if best friends date one another. So what do you think? Should friends date each other? I know the cynical among us may agree with that line from When Harry Met Sally, “that a man and a woman can’t really be just friends.” But that’s the topic of another article. Let’s get back to the issue of whether or not friends should date.

A:
The word dating itself speaks to something important as a Christian. To us it speaks to a desire to be married. The word friend also has very specific meaning in the word of the Lord. It says in the book of Proverbs in verse 17:17 "A friend loveth at all times"

So if we are all on board with our definitions, lets ask the question again. Should friends date? In a word, yes. It is good to have a desire to go out with, and learn more about your friend, especially one that you could envision yourself marrying.

In fact what would the alternative be? To go out with a person that is not your friend, and get to know more about them even though you can not envision your self marrying them.

Sadly the latter sounds like the norm in dating today. I do not believe however that we as Christians should embrace that norm.

-James aka DjAceOneIsm

Listen to Finding Morris and now Finding Halle online singles ministry radio 24-7
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THE FINDING MORRIS SEASON ONE FINALE (FM31)

On-Line Christian singles ministry radio.THE FINDING MORRIS SEASON ONE FINALE
....how will it end?

(TRT 39:56) FM31-The Best - the Funny & The Shocking End
Episode description:
It is appointed once for a season to end, then after the end, then rest! Praise God this season one has been great, and I have really grown up a lot serving you. This season one wrap up is a lot of fun. It is full of the best excerpts from the shows that you voted for.
Don’t miss this shocking season one finale episode (How will it end?) :-) We’ll be back Valentines day 2008

Most Popular downloads:

FM7- *Thug* Passion
Listener rating: *****

FM18-Marriage Material
Listener rating: **** 1/2

FM9 - Sex in the Church Part Two
Listener rating: *****

What this show is all about:
Let’s keep it real, y’all. Many sisters in the church want the perfect man. If not Morris Chestnut, then Shemar Moore, Boris Kudjoe, or whoever—as long he’s filled with the Holy Spirit, makes big money, is thoughtful, intelligent… the whole nine. Let’s not forget that he can’t be too nice either……you like a little thug but not too much…what do you really want? And before you brothers start agreeing too much, think about yourselves. How many of you choose “Miss High -Maintenance Classic Beauty” over the “Virtuous Glory of God’s Best for You” even if she’s just a little more plain looking? You don’t have to be saved to know that you can’t trust a big butt and a smile, my brothas…so, let’s talk about it as we discuss Finding Morris (FM).

Here is what listeners are saying about Finding Morris:

James...I am about 1/2 through FM17 and I am LOVING this! It's like being the fly on the wall that so many of us often wish we
could be. You guys are so funny! I really appreciate what you've done for us (single, Christian sistahs). Thank you! Keep up the
great work! I'm passing your site on to my many single friends. -Michala

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